Trusting God Through Autism
Hey there my friends! I am so glad you are here, seeking to understand God’s involvement in your child with autism. Really, His involvement with your whole family! Having a biblical mindset is the absolute foundation I cling to in my own family’s journey with autism.
I have no doubt the diagnosis was a hard pill to swallow. I know that this journey has been nothing short of challenging. After all, it is so different from the life that we imagined for our child and then we jump in to trying to figure out how to adjust and show up as the parents God has called us to be to a uniquely and special child.
The Calling
Let’s start there. God has CALLED YOU to this. He CHOSE YOU for your child. It was no mistake. Not because you have proven yourself to be worthy, but that the Father of all creation has A PURPOSE and A PLAN for your family through this specific journey. When we got my son’s diagnosis, I spent some time mourning it. I mean I am human. The life I thought we would have was gone. I asked God, why did You choose me? I don’t know how to care for him or give him his best life. I will fail him, Lord! Why? God then, put on my heart that He created me a fighter and now He was calling me to fight for my son. That in His strength, we would be equipped to parent such a wonderful boy. I’ve since learned it would also be a fight for faith. With this roller coaster of a journey, I would be challenged with doubt and weariness and giving up. Ultimately, all of this led me to seek Him in the deepest places of my heart. I’ve not only learned a lot about autism and how to help our son overcome many challenges, but I learned a lot about myself along the way. God has always given me the pep talk I needed and I haven’t stopped fighting for my son since. Now, I am even going to battle for other children!
And just as I reminded you that you were chosen for your child, know this now too: your child was chosen by God for you! What in the world does that mean? Your special child is on a mission to show God’s love and power in a way that you would have never experienced without him or her or them. What a beautiful circle of love! We receive from God, we pour into our child and God pours into our child for us to receive His love through them too!
Dealing with Deception
There are so many avenues the enemy can take you down to deceive you into believing God is not good, He is not present, and that He just doesn’t care about your family’s journey with autism. I won’t be able to hit all the enemy’s tactics in this one post, but please reach out and seek truth by looking for God’s character in His Word. Knowing who He is and how He loves you is exactly what you will need to endure the trials you face for EVERY circumstance.
I will focus on my own biggest challenge that came with the ups and downs of progress versus regression with my son. When Josiah was progressing I felt so full of faith, but when he would regress my faith didn’t seem to stay so firm. One thing I really struggled with was the enemy’s tactics in getting me tripped up on this question, “who afflicted my child with autism?” Was it Satan? He seems like the one who would afflict a child with disease. After all, in Job, we know that God allowed Satan himself to kill Job’s children and afflict him with disease to tempt Job to curse God. Notice that God is still in control of what He allows. I spent some time really studying Job. Now, for Job, even though he cried out to God, he never received the answer he was looking for. Let me explain. Job wanted to know why God had brought him to such a humiliating and sorrowful place. His hurt did turn into anger and he lashed out at God. He never cursed God like Satan said he would, but I feel like he came pretty close. Who can relate to this?? I can. I have had many angry conversations with God about my son, not understanding why my child is suffering and why God was not intervening to heal him. If this is you, I want you to know that being angry is okay. Yes, I said it. Guess who else said it’s okay to be angry? The Bible. Psalm 4:4 says, “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” So from this we see that anger is an expected emotion we will have in our flesh. It’s okay to be angry, but it is not okay to dwell there. We are supposed to take time to “ponder.” I interpret this as taking the opportunity to see the goodness of God in it to avoid sin that is birthed from anger. Psalm 37:8 tells us why we are not to dwell in anger. It says, “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret - it only causes harm.” Stuffing our anger instead of dealing with it causes our hearts to harden and grow more bitter and resentful. We become unforgiving, unkind, hateful, selfish and prideful. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, friend! It’s okay and good to be honest with God about your anger, but we also have to humble ourselves to be transformed into His likeness. Let God have His perfect way in you and through you.
While I was still wondering if it was Satan that afflicted my son, I moved on to accusing God for afflicting my son with autism. I sinfully did this in anger as well. When God called Moses to approach Pharoah and lead the people out of Egypt, Moses was full of excuses. Can you relate? I sure can. I already shared my excuse story above when we got my son’s diagnosis. In Exodus 4:10, Moses said, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” And then in verse 11 God said, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing or the blind? Have not, I, the Lord?” Wow! That’s kind of heavy! So there is a possibility that God created or destined your child to have autism. I really battled with not being okay with this. If God is a Healer, then why would He bring illness upon our children?
Now, I realize this is where I may lose some of you. I am aware that there are people that believe autism is not an illness, but instead only a unique gifting. In my home, I witnessed the symptoms of autism cause my son to injure himself and others. Josiah would bang his head and aggressively throw himself on the floor. He would throw things, kick, scratch, hit, and pull his hair along those around him. He would get so dysregulated, he could not function. There was a season it felt like we were prisoners in our own home. I’m sure a lot of you can relate to all of this. What has been heavy on my heart is to fight for my son’s health while embracing the giftings he has! I mean this is a mission all parents should have for all children anyway!
Yes, those with autism have some of the most brilliant minds far above anything we can fathom. And let me just squash a myth right here and right now. Working with your child to overcome their symptoms of autism is about helping them overcome the suffering that prevents them from connecting and being in relationships with others. They will not and I repeat, will not lose their brilliance. In fact, it enhances this gift as the brain fog of toxins and infections are lifted from them. I am not saying I do not agree with acceptance. I absolutely believe we need to meet children and people on the spectrum right where they are at. We are not to just sit around waiting for them to grow social skills before we can be a friend to them. We need to be the friend THEY NEED right now! Period. Get on their level and connect with them their way. So having a relationship with autism can be confusing. While I hate the suffering it brings to my child, I also am thankful that I have learned a new and bigger and better way to love because of it.This is exactly the kind of purification the Lord wants to grow us in.
Now back to the passage I mentioned above. I was drowning with questions and doubt. I was on a business retreat when a new, sweet friend I met on the trip helped my inner struggle about who was to blame for Josiah’s autism. She shared with me the story of the blind man in John 9. It is such a great lesson to study through! I’ll keep it brief and give a summary. There was a man blind from birth. Jesus saw him and approached him. The man was not even seeking healing for himself from Jesus. Jesus went after him! Mind blown already! Okay, so right before that the disciples wanted to know who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Do you know what Jesus said?! He answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” Oh how good is our God?! What do you think the “works of God” was? HEALING. For this man it was a physical healing. God’s plans lead to healing for everyone! Yes, not all will be healed on earth, but healing is still promised. For some, it awaits in heaven and for others, it is here on earth. Healing can also be from mental, emotional and/or spiritual torment. You see, your journey with your child is to inspire you to get on your knees, humbled and seek healing not only for your child, but for yourself and the rest of your household. This is how the family thrives together. Let God lead you in His way for healing for your own family.
The next thing I love about this passage is that there was some action Jesus took to heal this man. He spat on the ground, made clay with his spit, touched the man’s eyes with it to anoint him and then told the man to go wash in the pool. Jesus took action. The blind man took action. He came back from the pool healed. Personally, it was confirmation to me that I am also to take action in my son’s healing. Action by prayer and fasting, action by researching the advances in natural health in helping to overcome the symptoms of autism, and putting things I learn into action. Has everything we’ve tried helped? Nope, but that doesn’t mean I stop fighting for the promise. I’m always learning and growing along the way and so is Josiah and the rest of our family.
Now, I do not know who is the one that gave my son autism. That question has not been answered, but what I am at peace with is that it would not change my mission, so it does not matter. All I know is the Lord put on my heart in the beginning to fight and He’s been confirming it every time I’ve needed Him to confirm it to keep going, keep fighting. Until He lets me know to stop, this will always be my mission. I fight for my son, and in my new business venture, I am now fighting for other children. Be empowered! Be the warriors you were called to be! In God’s strength, anything is possible.
Suffering in the Journey
Now, let’s deal with the obvious. Suffering is part of the journey. Check out what Romans 5:3-5 says about suffering.
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Our Father’s heart is to purify us. In our flesh, suffering beats us down, but with the Spirit of God dwelling in us, suffering purifies us! Scripture is clear that we will have trials in this life and it is clear why in Romans 3:3-5. As we endure through suffering in the strength of the Spirit, our godly character is being produced. God wants us to be transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory. The more we are submitted and yielded to the Holy Spirit, Jesus in us, the more we act like Him, taking His very character upon ourselves as we trust in Him through our sufferings. A strong character in Christ produces a firm hope in Him that cannot be shaken and it does not disappoint. Hope is God’s love poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. This is what I want each of you to have. A firm hope in healing no matter what happens throughout your autism journey. I want you to have a firm faith that our God is a promise keeper and a fulfiller and satisfier of hearts.
Look what the book of James says about trials in chapter 1:2-4.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
Notice it does not say if you fall into a trial, but WHEN you fall into VARIOUS trials. We live in a fallen world and suffering and trials are part of it. I am thankful to have faith in a God that uses what the enemy and this world means for evil and turns it for good. In your autism journey, your faith will be tested. Will you choose to have patience? Endurance and patience go hand in hand in our trials. You may be asking, what is the perfect work that patience will develop in you? Well, I believe it to be an unwavering faith that no matter what comes your way, you will stand firm to trust God through it. An unwavering, firm faith makes us complete and lacking nothing because we know God’s got this. The Creator of you and your child, He loves more than any other being and has your best and your child’s best in the works ALWAYS. He is involved in EVERY detail and He is ALWAYS with us.
A couple of verses down in James 1:6 it speaks about anyone that doubts in their asking is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. Do not let unstable thinking and doubting rob you of the past, present and coming joy in your journey. Record what God does in your life so you can remember His faithfulness through it all. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.” This is where we must focus our minds. Be heavenly minded on the goodness of God.
Choosing Obedience
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.”
Your autism journey also helps you experience the meaning of being a living sacrifice as we are called to be in Romans 12:1. This means you have committed to fully be at God’s disposal, making yourself available and willing to obey God in whatever He asks or commands. Obedience to a holy God requires sacrifice. We may feel like some things we are forced to sacrifice because of our child’s limitations, but in time God reveals other things that we will willfully have to give up. Maybe it’s relationships, maybe it’s some food we really love, but have learned it’s harmful effects on the body. Maybe it’s thoughts or ideas that we have formed that are not in alignment with what God says. There are so many other examples of what sacrifice can look like for you personally. Just understand, that whatever God is calling you to sacrifice, it is replaced with blessings that far outweigh the things you were holding on to.
When God gave you your amazing child, He is commanding you to parent them under His guidance. After all, our children still belong to God. We don’t have to be a part of our children’s lives, we get to be a part of their life to partake in the beautiful relationship that helps us understand God’s love for us more as our Father.
I have learned to pray over every decision that I make for my son in this journey. There is so much information out there and not all of it will be helpful to you or the path God has called you specifically to take. Keep everything in prayer. Back to James 1. In verse 5 and first part of verse 6, he encourages “if any of you lacks wisdom let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith…” Let the perfect and complete faith in Jesus that you grow in be your foundation from this day forward. As our hearts line up and remain in alignment with God’s, we can be in regular practice of Matthew 7:7-8.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”
So be active in your autism journey! To be active in it, is being heavenly minded as we seek God’s ultimate will of healing for everyone who puts their faith in Jesus. Just remember what Matthew 6:33 says, “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” What things? The peace from the worry and the righteousness that is inside you because of Holy Spirit that dwells in you.
God’s Healing Promises
I want to point out in Scripture, God’s heart for healing for you to write down, memorize, and look to for comfort when things get tough. Pray these prayers out loud over your child.
Isaiah 53:4-5
“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.”
1 Peter 2:24
“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed.”
Psalm 103:2-3
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy”
Psalm 107:19-20
“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them and delivered them from their destructions.
James 5:14-15
“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.”
Exodus 23:25
“You shall serve the LORD your God, and he will bless your bread and your water, and I will take sickness away from among you.”
Proverbs 4:20-22
“My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.“
Jeremiah 30:17
“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord, because they have called you an outcast”
Joel 3:10
“Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruning hooks into spears; let the weak say, “I am a warrior.”
Mark 16:17-18
“And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
John 10:10
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Romans 8:11
“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.”
Healings by Jesus
I want to give you a list here of all the instances Jesus performed a healing miracle in the Bible. I encourage you to do your own study of them all. Keep hope alive!
Matthew 8:1-17, 28-34
Matthew 9:1-8, 18-34
Matthew 15:29-31
Matthew 17:14-21
Matthew 20:29-34
Mark 1:21-34, 40-45
Mark 2:1-12
All of Mark 5!
Mark 7:31-37
Mark 8:22-26
Mark 9:14-29
Mark 10:46-52
Luke 4:31-41
Luke 5:12-26
Luke 6:17-19
Luke 7:1-17
Luke 8:26-56
Luke 9:37-42
Luke 14:1-6
Luke 17:11-19
Luke 18:35-43
John 4:46-54
John 5:1-23
All of John 9!
John 11:1-44
Healings Through His Followers
I personally believe that the gift of healings (mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12) is still an active gift today. Some believe that this was for the apostles in the early church in Acts. I disagree because you hear about miracle healings still happening today in the Name of Jesus. Here are a few Scripture verses where the Lord worked through His followers to bring healing to those in need.
Acts 3:1-10
Acts 9:10-19, 32-43
Scripture Warfare Prayers
Lastly, I want to give you some Bible verses to go to war with. Think of these verses as your arsenal, your ammo you can use when the enemy attacks you with thoughts that bring forth doubt or confusion or anxiety or fear or worry. Rebuke that garbage, sister!
Matthew 18:18-19
“Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.”
Mark 11:23-34
“Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
2 Corinthians 1:20
“For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5
“For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ”
Philippians 2:13
“For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”
2 Timothy 1:7
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
Hebrews 10:23
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”
Hebrews 10:35-36
“Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.”
Hebrews 13:8
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
1 John 3:21-22
“Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do what pleases Him.”
Ephesians 6: 10-17
“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;”
Conclusion
New friends, I pray that this post was an encouragement to you. To keep praying. To keep fighting. To keep trusting in Jesus. To keep peace and joy. To keep a confident hope. To grow in an unwavering, complete and perfect faith, lacking nothing! Persevere strong, sisters!
With Love,
Faith Sandoval
P.S. I have a journal template coming soon to help you record your journey!
