His Presence Over His Promises
Are you wondering if your focus is in the right place when it comes to helping your child with autism overcome his or her challenges? Have you been obsessing over healing? How about constantly researching and jumping from one thing to another? Wondering if you should be doing anything at all?
If you have been running through these thoughts in your head, you have come to the right place to access peace in your journey!
Prayer Life
First, let’s acknowledge and examine your prayer life. Are you in practice of praying for your child? Sometimes, when we go to pray for our children, we find ourselves begging and pleading with God to bring healing to them as we witness them suffering right before our eyes. Not to mention, the effects those challenges have on the whole family. Desiring healing for your child is biblical. There are various scripture references in the Bible that tell us God desires healing for all of us. Now, I challenge you with this. Are your prayers obsessive in a way that is fueled by fear and worry for the future, or is it in patience while waiting on the Lord? Are you praying as if you are trusting His plans and purposes for your household? I am not saying to stop praying for healing, but I am going to challenge you to dig a little deeper.
As you read this, think about how much time you spend praying over the healing of your child with autism. Maybe, you even go through seasons. At times, you faithfully and diligently pray every day. At other times you’ve become so discouraged that you stop praying. Maybe even thinking, “what’s the point? Healing is not God’s plan for my child.” You are not alone. So many, including myself, can relate to both of these seasons.
The Bible tells us that God desires that we be in good health. By good health I mean in all ways: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Complete healing has always been God’s plan for us. Let’s take a look at some scripture references.
3 John, verse 2
Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are in spirit.
Proverbs 4:20-22
My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.
Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds, we are healed.
Proverbs 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Mark 5:34
He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
Jeremiah 30:17
But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.’
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Jeremiah 33:6
Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.
Proverbs 3:5-8
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
In another blog post, I went a little further into God’s promise of healing for all of those who love Him. Ultimate healing is in heaven. Yes, we can have levels of healing here on earth and it is okay to prayerfully ask God to heal all of our afflictions here on earth. In fact, part of being heavenly minded is to seek healing for yourself and for your child through the guidance of the Holy Spirit according to God’s will.
Now that we can see a healthy life is God’s heart for us, I want to dig deeper by acknowledging that He also desires to use circumstances of health to draw us closer to Him. Some trials of life can show up as health needs. God makes promises and even better, He desires our presence, a relationship with us. My challenge is that we begin to desire His presence even more than we persistently pray for His promises.
Moses and David are both examples of people in the Bible that expressed that desire themselves. Exodus 33:14-16 says, “And the LORD said, ‘I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest - everything will be fine for you.’ Then Moses said, ‘If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place.” This is such a beautiful example of Moses putting the presence of God above the promise. Of course he wanted to enter the Promised Land he had God talk all about and had been preparing the people for. The land flowing with milk and honey. But even more than dwelling in such a wonderful place, he knew that it would still be empty and unsatisfying unless God was there with him. I love this so much!
David also expressed his desire to be in God’s presence above all else. There are so many psalms that David talks about “dwelling in the house of the LORD forevermore.” This one is my favorite…
Psalm 27:4
“The one thing I ask of the LORD - the thing I seek the most - is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, delighting in the LORD’s perfections and meditating in His Temple.”
I am here to tell you, that even above seeking the promises of God, let us be a parent that desires His presence more than anything else. This is what we need to heal our own hearts and minds first. When we are content and have peace and joy in the Lord, trusting in all of His ways, we are in the best mental health to serve the wonderful children God has blessed us with.
Let’s look at how our own mental health can impact our child.
The Impact a Parent's Mental Health Has on their Child
According to the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, there are three types of psychological stress that can impact a child’s overall development. Let’s take a look at each.
Positive stress experiences are temporary, usually formed with brand new exposures and experiences that happen in everyday life. For example, a child feels a little nervous to meet a new relative or friend or going to school for the first time. These stresses are part of every day, normal living circumstances. Learning to cope with these temporary stressors is generally easier on children with supportive parents or other caregiver influences.
Tolerable stress experiences are still temporary, but with more intensity when compared to positive stressors. For example, a child that has been in a sudden vehicle accident, lost a loved one or going through significant disruptions in their normal day-to-day like moving away. Again, a child will need a lot of support during these times to be able to manage and cope appropriately for these types of stressful experiences.
Toxic stress experiences are those that become more chronic and are typically related to trauma. Things like child abuse and neglect. When a child’s stress response lingers for long periods of time, harmful effects are taking place in their developing brain. The only hope is to help the child bring that stress response back to a normal state.
So, what does this have to do with autism? As you read those things, you can probably conclude that your child is dealing with difficulty to cope with toxic stress. Every child on the autism spectrum has a dysregulated stress response. Be on the lookout for another blog post on the stress response.
The adverse effects that toxic stress has on brain development include impaired cognition, learning, memory, emotional dysregulation, poor social skills, and decreased immunity. These are things that kids on the autism spectrum deal with at various degrees.
Maybe you know exactly what trauma your child has undergone. Birth trauma, post-pardom, child abuse, neglect, and the list could go on. Research says that trauma can even start in the mother’s womb and this is where I want us to sit for a minute. All other personal trauma that our children have dealt with, needs to be addressed, but I believe we must start with healing from our own chronic, toxic stress. If we are constantly feeling stressed, overwhelmed, hopeless, angry, bitter, resentful, sorrowful, anxious and depressed, we cannot be the parent that is alive and able to help our children out of their own toxic stress. Think about that. When you are moody and walk into a room, doesn’t it affect everyone else in the room? Those people are either concerned or bothered by your attitude. The more you remain in these states, the less you show patience and grace to your child. You probably get easily frustrated and end up saying things you don’t mean. Or you are too tired and unhappy to play with them. Loving attention, patience and grace is exactly what our children need to overcome their own stress response challenges.
Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.
Again, all of these things bring us back to the importance of healing our own minds and this is best done by seeking the presence with our Lord more than obsessing over the promises. If you need more help with overcoming toxic thinking, be on the lookout for my blog on my thoughts on spiritual warfare and autism.
Heart Check
Let’s get this mind healing started off right. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to examine the depth of your heart and the struggle of your mind in your autism journey. I even recommend journaling these thoughts.
You will experience the Lord in a magnificent way if you are completely honest with yourself and the Lord about your answers. It is okay to feel anger and sorrow, but God does not want us to stay there because that is where sin lies and waits for us. Remember, He wants to heal our hearts and minds.
How does this autism journey with your family make you feel?
What are your fears?
What do you believe about autism?
What do you believe about your child?
Are you angry at God about your child’s condition?
Our God is a gracious and merciful Father, faithful to meet us where we are at and restore our hearts and be reconciled to us.
Talk to God about your answers. Request His presence and truth to fill you up. Look up Bible verses to look to whenever you are feeling insecure, doubt, or even attacked by the enemy. Memorize them. Here are some Bible verses that point out God’s desire to be present with us.
Isaiah 41:10
“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Deuteronomy 31:8
“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Joshua 1:9
“This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
Psalm 16:11
“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.”
Psalm 73:21-26
“Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant - I must have seemed like a senseless animal to You. Yet I still belong to You; You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me into a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but You? I desire You more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forevermore.”
Psalm 139:7-8, 17-18
“I can never escape Your Spirit! I can never get away from Your presence! If I go up to heaven you are there; if I go down to the grave You are there.”
“How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of the sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!”
Psalm 145:18
“The Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him in truth.”
Isaiah 43:2
“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
Zephaniah 3:17
“For the LORD, your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
Acts 3:20-21
“Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and He will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah. For He must remain in heaven until the time for the final restoration of all things, as God promised long ago through His holy prophets.
I pray you have found this post helpful. Check my blog library for more encouragement as a parent on an autism journey.
