Do You Think Your Child May Have Autism? Signs to Look For
Do You Think Your Child May Have Autism?
Hey there! Have you been noticing something different about your child lately? Perhaps some sensory challenges? Speech delays? Unmanageable behaviors? Let me say first, everything is going to be okay. I know you may be feeling overwhelmed with some anxiety and fear to top it off. I’ve been there too. My worries actually immobilized me for a season. But then, when I cried out to the Lord, He reminded me He is with me, guiding me and He has a plan to glorify Himself and reveal His loving character through the journey ahead. I am here to tell you, you are on a journey of faith to keep hope alive!
I have been on my own journey with a child with autism since 2017! There has been so much growth, faith, knowledge, wisdom and understanding that the Lord has guided me too. I am on a mission to share what I have learned in effort to help families overcome challenges and thrive together reaching their God-given potential!
As you read through this blog, it may confirm your questions about whether or not your child has autism. Again, everything is going to be okay! It’s never too late to learn how you can keep the faith while learning how you can best help your amazing child! Let’s dive in!
Signs to Look for if You Think Your Child Has Autism
First of all, I’m glad you’re here—seeking answers is a vital first step in helping your child get the support he or she needs! Autism diagnoses have been on the rise in recent years, and while there are numerous theories about why this is happening, it can be overwhelming to navigate. Whether you’re trying to understand potential causes or simply want to know how to better support your child, you’re in the right place to learn about autism.
You have landed on this blog because you’re wondering if your child could have autism and are considering whether to pursue an official diagnosis. Observing certain developmental, social, and behavioral markers can guide you in deciding if further steps are necessary. In this blog, we will look at developmental milestone red flags, the diagnostic criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder and then academic observations by teachers in the classroom.
Developmental Milestones
Developmental milestones are a critical way to gauge your child’s growth. These milestones mark key progressions in speech, social interactions, and motor skills. If you’re unfamiliar with them, that’s okay! Below are highlights from Dr. Robert Melillo’s work in "Disconnected Kids," supplemented by references from the Early Childhood Direction Center and the CDC.
Here’s a detailed look at what children should typically achieve by various ages:
By 12 Months:
Saying “dada” and “mama” appropriately
Trying to imitate familiar words and animal sounds
Understanding that words are symbols for objects
Able to make appropriate eye contact and show affection for familiar people
Using simple gestures like waving or shaking their head “no”
Responding to their name and simple commands
Exploring objects by shaking, banging, or throwing them
Beginning to use objects correctly (drinking from a cup, brushing hair)
Finding hidden objects easily
Looking at the correct picture when an image is named
By 18 Months:
Using 5–10 words, including names of people and objects
Pointing to desired items and familiar body parts
Starting to combine words like “all gone”
Using some words to express wants or needs
Recognizing pictures of familiar things and people
Getting familiar objects upon request, even from another room
Getting more accurate at imitating sounds and words
Humming or singing simple tunes
By Age 2:
Have a vocabulary of 200-300 words and use about 150 regularly
Saying simple phrases and forming 2–4 word sentences
Following simple instructions and playing make-believe
Showing affection for familiar people
Referring to themselves by name, “me” or “I”
Beginning to ask what, where, who, and why questions
Walking on his own and beginning to run
Gross motor skills like kicking a ball, climbing without help, using stairs with rail support
Fine motor skills like scribbling with a crayon
Has started identifying body parts
Showing growing independence
Between ages 2 and 3:
Know the names of family members and others
Have a 400 word vocabulary (age 2) and be able to name familiar objects and pictures
Says his first name and hold up fingers to show his or her age
Says “no,” though it may mean “yes”
Refer to self as “me” rather than by name
Answers “where” questions
Use short sentences regularly, such as “me do it”
Use past tense and plurals, although not always correctly
Be talking to other children and adults
Be emotionally attached to toys or objects for security
Has slight increase in attention span
Outgrows separation anxiety
Between ages 3 and 4:
Speak and be understood by strangers
Have a vocabulary of nearly 1,000 words
Follow two-step commands
Sings familiar songs
Talk a lot (to self and others) and asks questions
Plays cooperatively
Has no sense of privacy
Feeds self without difficulty
Beginning to ride a tricycle
Between 4 and 5:
Have a vocabulary of 1,500 words
Using 4-5 word more complex sentences
Uses plurals, contractions, and past tense
Ask more questions, including “why”
Understands simple who, what, and where questions
Following commands and directions
Talk about concepts in the abstract and imaginary conditions
Begin to copy patterns, such as lines, circles on a page
Page attention to a short story and may be able to answer questions about it
Hear and understand most of what is said at home and in pre-school
Relate incidents that happened in school or at home
Understands the concept of right and wrong
Often indulges in make-believe
Repeats words, phrases, syllables, and even sounds
Displays concern and empathy
Ride a bike with training wheels
Between age 5 and 6:
Have a 2,000 word vocabulary
Speak in 5-6 word sentences
Use different types of sentences, including complex ones that describe cause and effect or temporal relations, such as “I’ll get in trouble if I hit Jimmy” or
‘Ii can have a cookie after I eat my lunch”
Use past, present and future tenses
Understand what objects are used for and made of
Ask questions for the purpose of gaining new information
Express feelings, dreams, wishes, and other abstract thoughts
Copy basic capital letters when shown an example
Draw rudimentary pictures
Perhaps be able to write his name
Although some children may be able to spell or read by age five, these skills are not the norm.
Have friendships, but change rapidly
Leads as well as follows
Apologizes for mistakes
Understands opposites
Between ages 6 and 7:
Want to be first and best at everything
Focuses less on one’s self and shows more concern for others
Begins to learn from mistakes
Has the ability to describe experiences
Properly pronounces “sh,” “ch,” and “th”
Can tell a complicated story
Between ages 7 and 8:
Care for self, room, and belongings
Has a sense of humor and tells jokes
Draws moral distinctions based on internal judgment
Begin to reason and concentrate
Can write or print many words correctly
Solves simple math problems using objects
Between ages 8 and 9:
Becomes impatient
Fears speaking in front of others (especially in a classroom)
Highly social
Can converse at an almost-adult level
Reading may be a major interest
Thinking is organized
Between 9 and 10:
Want to put some distance between self and adults
Can express a wide range of emotions and controls anger
Understand social roles and appropriate behavior
Complains about fairness
Worries about things
Is beginning to make decisions
Between 10 and 11:
Tries to avoid looking childish
Understand how behavior affects others
Is truthful
Has an accurate perception of events
Possesses a surprising scope of interests more effective at coping skills
Now, some of you may be thinking, “Wow! My child is not there yet!” Take note which areas your child is behind in meeting. Are you seeing a lot of delays? Some may be pointing to autism and some could be red flags for other developmental, behavioral, neurological and even biological conditions.
On the contrary, if you are thinking, “Oh yeah my child has already nailed that,” but ask yourself is it too early? Delays are red flags, but so are the areas your child is progressing too quickly in. Mostly with gross motor skills and academics. The majority of children on the spectrum, and I would argue all, have some area of higher intelligence. It’s like one of their super powers and you can’t underestimate the ones that are non speaking. They are usually the most intelligent! Some children skip crawling and go straight to walking. This is a red flag for an imbalance in brain development. Meeting the gross motor developmental milestones in the necessary and right order will properly integrate primitive reflexes to balance the brain and move on to higher level cognitive functioning.
Retained primitive reflexes are another root cause component to consider. Children with any developmental delay, developments too early, learning disability or behavioral condition most likely have retained primitive reflexes. I have created an ebook all about how to assess retained primitive reflexes with movements to get them integrated! Find it HERE.
Remember that early intervention is key and discussing concerns with your pediatrician is a crucial step. I am the biggest supporter of natural routes for treatment and sometimes your pediatrician may be unfamiliar with a biomedical or functional approach to treating underlying medical issues in autism. To review more on this topic, please reference this fantastic article from TACA HERE.
Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnostic Criteria
Now, I think that if we are going to start being good investigators for our children and advocate for them, we need to know what criteria is assessed in order to be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Below, is the current diagnostic criteria for an autism diagnosis as defined by The American Psychiatric Associations's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) - Fifth Edition. Autism Spectrum Disorder can be diagnosed by Developmental Pediatricians, Child Psychologists, Child Psychiatrists, and Pediatric Neurologists. Read the picture below and then we’ll dive in!
Part A is really looking at your child’s ability to communicate in social relationships and the ability to connect with others in a relationship.It specifically mentions nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication is referring to body language, gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact to interpret a person’s mood and/or thoughts. Now, think about your child. Most children with autism really struggle with eye contact and understanding the emotions and body language of others. Children on the autism spectrum also struggle with relationships. They don’t pick up on social cues very easily. It’s hard for them to interact with others and make friends. They can be referred to by their peers as “socially awkward” or “weird.” Let me tell you right now, your child is incredible and unique in a way the world is not used to. God has amazing plans for your child that you will get to witness.
Part B is more focused on looking at the child’s behaviors. Have you heard of the term “stimming?” This word is commonly used to describe a child’s “restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior.” For example, some children on the spectrum “stim” by spinning in circles. They love it so much that they won’t stop to go to the bathroom or come eat a meal or any other functional task or an activity for daily living. This is an example of a repetitive motor movement. Others may include hand flapping, jumping, manipulating objects, or other motor “tic-like” movements of the head and neck and/or limbs. As mentioned above, a “stimming” behavior can include repetitive speech like repeating words or phrases over and over and do not make sense in conversation. These are verbal “stims.” Auditory stimming may include banging things, wanting to listen to the same audio from tv shows or movies repeatedly, or pushing the buttons of a sound toy over and over. Visual stimming would be a child that waves his hands in front of his face, dumps objects onto the floor watching how they fall repetitively or looks at objects up close and from their periphery. What I have learned from stimming behaviors also is that the child is usually seeking some sensory input. More on that to come! I want to take a moment to mention that some parents are told to redirect their child when stimming is going on in an attempt to reduce these behaviors. I have to disagree here. Stimming is actually your child’s genius as a means to cope with internal and external triggers their bodies do not understand. In the same TACA article mentioned above, here are the potential underlying reasons for stimming and repetitive behaviors:
Gastrointestinal issues
Seizures
Food Allergies/Sensitivities
Low cholesterol
Mineral Deficiences
Elevated Glutamate in the Brain
Retained primitive reflexes
Elevated ammonia
Asterixis due to encephalopathy
I can attest that choosing a low-glutamate diet and addressing retained primitive reflexes in my own child slowed these behaviors way down to almost non-existent!
Another thing Part B points out in the image is “excessive adherence to routine” and “resistance to change.” Children on the autism spectrum seek out what is predictable and controllable and this is why they do so well with routines. Anxieties can spike if they don’t see something coming. These kids can also be very rigid and struggle with transitions and/or adding anything new to their routine. It is a good idea to let them know ahead of time of what changes you will be making. “Fixed interests” is another thing your child may be obsessive about. Maybe they play with the same toy every day and won’t entertain anything new. For my son, he would ALWAYS have to be holding something in both hands. My son would also be obsessive about the arrangement of his toys. They had to be lined up a certain way and facing a certain way. If it was disrupted, a mega meltdown! Can you relate to that? For a child that is more high-functioning, his conversations will be limited to one topic. For example, he only wants to talk to you about the Avengers. He wants you to know every detail and he will even repeat these conversations in case you missed something. So this “fixated interest” disrupts their ability to have conversations about anything else and they struggle to form relationships, learn and focus on anything else.
As we briefly mentioned before, Part B lastly mentions how the sensory system is affected for a child on the autism spectrum. They use the term “hyper-reactivity” to describe the child that experiences sensory input at a heightened level. For example, a child can be noise-sensitive to loud noises causing them to scream and act out in pain. She may require something like noise-cancelling headphones if you were to take her out into public. A child that is “hypo-reactive,” struggles to interpret and discern sensory input. The best example of this is the child who doesn’t seem to express she is in pain. For example, a child that walks barefoot over sticks and rocks outside and gets a scratch will not complain of pain. As I mentioned before, I will be posting a blog with more information on how the sensory systems can be affected in a child with autism.
Part C is to make the clinician aware that signs may have been present earlier than the evaluation, but is now more recognized as it has affected our child’s typical growth and development. For me, when I think back to the time before my son was diagnosed and autism was not even on my radar, a lot of what was happening to him started to make sense as he regressed into autism. Think about when your child was younger than they are now. What red flags come up as you think about this diagnostic criteria?
Lastly, Part D is the acknowledgement of these accumulated challenges that makes it difficult for a person with autism to function independently. Start creating a list and documenting your concerns about your child before heading in to an evaluation.
What Teachers Might Observe
You may already have your child’s teachers coming to you with some concerns. If your child is in school, teachers may notice behaviors such as:
Poor participation or focus in class
Difficulty with transitions or changes in routine
Meltdowns or isolating themselves from peers
Repetitive behaviors like spinning or jumping
Challenges forming friendships or being bullied for their differences
Add these observations to your list. It can be helpful when discussing your child’s needs with professionals.
Questions to Ask Yourself
As you are processing everything I have shared so far, here are some questions to reflect on:
Is your child delayed in developmental milestones?
Does your child struggle with speech or nonverbal communication?
Is making friends a challenge?
Do they engage in repetitive behaviors or struggle with sensory input?
Do they show signs of rigidity or obsession with certain topics or routines?
Are they falling behind in school?
I want to mention that maybe you have seen a lot of things in this post that makes you think your child could very well have autism. Please understand that there are other conditions that will overlap with some of these same symptoms too. Common related conditions could be Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Global Developmental Delay, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Antisocial Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, and Learning Disorders. Please discuss your concerns with your pediatrician.
Next Steps
While you are waiting for a referral from your pediatrician for your child to be evaluated, you may choose to move forward with early intervention services.
If your child is under 3 years old, you can contact your state’s early intervention services to get started with services and assist you in the process of obtaining a diagnosis as well. Check THIS LINK to search for your state:
Having a diagnosis will help you to receive services covered by either your insurance or state funding you may qualify for. Two excellent tools to help you screen for autism are:
Final Thoughts
Parenting a child with autism can feel like navigating uncharted waters, but you’re not alone. Whether you’re just beginning this journey or seeking ways to better support your child, knowledge and compassion are your greatest tools.
Please consider joining my private Facebook group with video and post series and even book discussions to assist and support you on your journey.
My website also offers free resources and ebooks for purchase to really dig into a natural approach to help your child.
References:
CDC Developmental Monitoring and Screening Guide
“Disconnected Kids” by Dr. Robert Melillo
The American Psychiatric Associations's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) - Fifth Edition
